The New Rules of Wedding Planning: 3 Ways Modern Couples Are Rethinking Wedding Traditions
By Meagan Culkin
North Carolina wedding planner Meagan Culkin, who has contributed to more than 700 weddings, has witnessed firsthand how trends and traditions have evolved. Modern couples are approaching wedding planning in completely new ways, with different budgets, etiquette expectations and a greater focus on guest experience.
Meagan Culkin has spent the past 18 years contributing to and executing events. She began working at country club banquets, then evolved into operating an online bakery while planning weddings on the side. In 2011, she opened her own planning company, Magnolia Collective, and “grew a team that is much more organized” than she is, she says. Eventually, Meagan made her way into the world of consulting and educating fellow wedding professionals, sharing her own insights gleaned over the course of contributing to more than 700 weddings.
One of the most significant changes we’ve witnessed in weddings over the 40 years Heart of NC Weddings has been in print is the evolution in budgets and, therefore, in who the decision makers are. It’s no longer standard for the bride’s parents to foot the bulk of the bill, nor is the mother of the bride the default primary decision maker.
Today, weddings are more creative and collaborative. Couples are taking the reigns together, and it’s not uncommon for grooms, partners or entire families to get involved in the planning process. Decision making is more balanced, with a strong focus on shared values and mutual priorities, rather than tradition or precedent.
As a wedding planner, Meagan starts every initial planning conversation with couples with three questions:
- What is the proposed wedding budget, and who is contributing to that?
- What are the most important elements of the wedding day for you?
- What traditions do you want to adhere to, and which do you want to skip?
While every couple answers differently, there are a handful of consistencies that seem to persist regardless of wedding style, budget or religious background:
Marriage Proposals Have Become More Elaborate and Collaborative
While many partners will still ask for the parents’ blessing before proposing, we’ve seen an uptick in over-the-top proposals involving family and friends. Whether you’re sending your fiance-to-be on a scavenger hunt or having a team of pros build a spectacular setup in your backyard, it’s becoming more common for planning to begin long before the ring is on the finger.
Wedding Budgets are More Flexible – and Complex
Wedding budgets are more malleable now. So are the rules on who contributes. Gone are the days when the father of the bride wrote a single check to cover the full bill. Instead, it’s typical for multiple people to contribute to the overall budget. Of course, that comes with different dynamics.
Because of this, it’s so important to have an honest conversation with all of the financial contributors when planning your wedding. For example, if your grandma writes you a check for $10,000 and says you can use it however you wish, that’s a very different conversation than if she agrees to pay for florals and wants to be part of the planning.
Modern couples are learning to balance gratitude with boundaries. It’s all about making space for loved ones to feel involved without handing off full creative control.
Guest Experience Takes Center Stage
Perhaps the most noticeable shift in modern weddings compared to those of generations past is the emphasis on guest experience.
Couples are prioritizing how their loved ones feel and worrying less about how things look on paper. Forget rigid expectations for identical bridesmaid dresses or perfectly symmetrical wedding parties, for that matter. Instead, couples are letting their attendants choose outfits they feel great in, and focusing more on spending time together throughout the big day.
From creative seating arrangements to personalized welcome bags and weeklong itineraries, couples today care deeply about how their guests experience their celebration.
For Modern Weddings, There Are No Rules!
If the first rule of Fight Club is you can’t talk about Fight Club, the first rule of wedding planning is that one size doesn’t fit all.
There is no right way to celebrate your love story, only the way that feels right to you. Whether you’re embracing long-standing traditions or have totally unique ideas, what matters most is that your wedding reflects who you are – together.
