Wedding Etiquette: Do I Have to Include Plus Ones on My Guest List?

As if wedding planning isn’t stressful enough, couples are constantly plagued by questions from their soon-to-be guests and wedding party about bringing dates. We know how easy it can be to let the plus ones blow your guest list completely out of the water. But, don’t pull your hair out! There are several ways to handle the situation to keep everyone (or the majority of guests) happy and out of your well-styled and sprayed-to-perfection hair.

Option 1: Everyone who is invited gets a plus one. Be it their spouse, fiancé, boyfriend or best friend, every guest gets to bring a significant (or not-so-significant) other. This option can work, but it is fairly uncommon for modern weddings, simply due to cost restraints or limited venue space.

If you want to keep your wedding on the small side or happen to have an incredibly long list of family members, it’s probably not the best idea to allot all of the guests a partner — unless you’re prepared to shell out big bucks for people you may never see again.

Similarly, if you’re from a small town where everyone knows everyone, it’s somewhat unavoidable to not invite, well, everyone. In this case, or a situation in which your parents (or you!) work jobs that require courtesy invites for a slew of coworkers, allowing every guest to bring a date is simply not practical. Which brings us to option two …

Option 2: Everyone who is married or engaged gets a plus one. Most couples (understandably) need to keep their guest list under control. In this case, only guests who are (legally!) bound to a significant other get to bring them along.

The good thing about this option is that it’s a hard and fast rule. There really can’t be any arguing about who qualifies. This is ideal for a couple that just doesn’t want to deal with conflict.

But of course, all rules need to be bent sometimes. If someone is coming from outside your close circle of friends and family, it might be a good idea to let them bring a friend or significant other along, simply because they will be more comfortable. And, if your 200-guest-maximum hasn’t been reached with priority members – best friends, family and office buds – give out some plus ones! Friends with serious long-term relationships would love to bring their significant other, and if there’s space, why not let them?

Finally, we are also fans of allowing the wedding party to bring dates, but that’s just our opinion!

So really, it’s nice to let as many people as your guest list allows bring a plus one. Your guests will appreciate it and be more likely to get out on the dance floor. But, if you’re under the constraints of a tight budget or small venue space, remember that wedding etiquette does not require you to hand out a plus one to everyone –– it’s up to the couple to make that choice based on their specific event!