I’m Married – Now What?

Don’t Forget to Plan Your Marriage

Everyone shows up on their wedding day with love in their hearts and butterflies. What takes couples from that to a successful and long-lasting marriage? 

Our whole lives, we learn that love is about finding “the one.” Our future spouse should be our best friend, life partner, romantic match and everything we need. It’s so powerfully embedded in our culture, it’s hard to prevent the deep-seated effects. The rise in social media over the past decade has paved the way for an obsession with rosy ideals. Thousands of influencers and friends alike now invite us into their relationships. But the “real talk” is only so real. The bravest of the bunch can admit when we’ve had a troubling time with our partner, or that behind the smiling date-night Instagram post was an argument over where to eat. This reminds us that we all struggle, and encourages us to keep working for a stronger marriage. But, these rose-colored social media posts are only surface level.

The Real Journey of a Marriage

A marriage is so much deeper and more meaningful than an Instagram post can show. It’s saving pennies and spur-of-the-moment road trips. It’s holidays with in-laws that drive you bananas. It’s holding your partner’s hand as your child is born. It’s supporting your spouse after the death of their parent. It’s having the strength to take care of yourself and fight depression after your unexpected job loss – because your family who needs you. It’s thank-you’s and apologies. It’s experiencing the everyday, as well as the great joys and sorrows of life – and, with love and patience, finding a way to grow together through all of it. 

Yet marriage is also simple: it’s making the choice of commitment. The choice does not end the day you say “yes,” or “I do.” Both partners have to wake up and make the choice to be a team together, every single day. 

Post-Wedding Checklist

With all the planning that goes into every detail of your wedding day, don’t forget about these to-do’s for after you tie the knot.

Save Keepsakes from Your Big Day – Preserve your wedding dress! A Cleaner World provides multiple price points to clean and preserve wedding gowns. Often, a dress will show just how much fun your wedding day was, whether it’s wrinkled from dancing the night away, taking pictures on grass, brushes with makeup or an accidental drink spill. A Cleaner World will make your dress look brand new again and return it to you in pristine condition. As experienced professionals, they will treat your wedding dress with care and package your gown in a box so that it’s safe for years to come. A Cleaner World has several locations in North Carolina serving Raleigh and the Triangle to Boone, western NC and Virginia!

You can also dry or preserve flowers and your bouquet. Even freezing a slice of wedding cake is a fun way to relive your wedding day! These are things you can look back on (and snack on) for years to come. Another great way to preserve details from your wedding is to frame invitations and other paper goods.

Planning to change your last name? – Here’s how to do it. First, certify your marriage license. Then, go to your local Social Security office to change your last name on your Social Security card. Next, head to your local DMV office to update your driver’s license or state-issued ID. Don’t forget to change your name on other important documents such as your passport, credit cards, bank accounts and more.

Send Thank-You’s to Guests – Show your appreciation for your loved one’s attendance. Handwriting thoughtful thank-you notes is a perfect way to express gratitude for their gifts, time and travel.

Get Creative with Your Wedding Photos – Start a scrapbook, blog or photo album full of your favorite memories from your special day. This is a chance to be creative – there’s no wrong way to put your pictures on display.

Spend Time with Family – Whether this is quality time with your spouse or dinner with your new in-laws, wash your hands of stressful wedding planning and enjoy peaceful time spent with those closest to you.

Thank Your Vendors – Whether you choose to leave a positive review online or leave a note, it’s always thoughtful to thank your wedding vendors. These are the people who worked hard to make your big day special and kept it running smoothly – they deserve all the kudos!

Take a Deep Breath – All the months of planning that goes into your wedding is over – it’s time to pause and enjoy this joyous period of your life. Have a spa day, take a trip or practice some extra self-care.

Share your love story with Heart of NC Weddings for a chance to be featured on our blog. Click here to submit your story!

Setting Intentions for Marriage

If you get engaged during a whirlwind romance, it might be hard to listen to the relationship veterans. They’ll tell you that passion will come and go, and that friendship, support and partnership are the true elements of lasting love. More likely, you’re in the majority of currently betrothed couples who dated for more than two years before getting engaged. Making it past the honeymoon period of falling in love and into the relationship groove will make your expectations for marriage that much more realistic and grounded.

Even if you’ve been partners for a decade before you take those vows, get ready – marriage might still feel different, because it is different! So how do we prepare for uncharted territory?

Core Values and Spiritual Principles

As you get ready for marriage, try to dive deeper than the daydreams of what your life together will look like. What’s real and long-lasting are the core values and spiritual principles that define you. These will be the guide to your behavior as individuals and within your relationship. These can be hard to identify and talk about. Understanding these truths, and making sure they align with each other is crucial to a successful marriage.

Working with your wedding officiant and a coaches couples she is already working with as the wedding officiant – she offers bundled packages, and of course they go hand in hand. She helps these couples to cope with the stress of planning their wedding, while also building the foundation for marriage.

Premarital Counseling 

Entering a safe space where you can set clear intentions for your marriage and develop skills that will help you succeed can be crucial. If you having a loving relationship, you’ll be all the more excited and prepared to start your life together.

Out of all of the things you’ll be spending time, energy and funds on during your engagement, there’s no better investment than preparing for your marriage!

Registry Rewards and Regrets

We asked Heart of NC Weddings readers what they used most and least from their wedding registry – here’s what they had to say.

Theresa Choudhury didn’t register for fine china but her mother-in-law gifted it to the couple after their 1996 wedding and they love it. “Forget about the things that wear out like towels and sheets. You can get those at Marshall’s,” she says. Good registry gifts are the ones that stand the test of time. “Good pots and pans, you’ll have them forever.”

Lucy Dioguardi, a 2016 bride, says she regrets registering for an ice bucket – it hasn’t been of much use when she hosts parties. Quality dishes, on the other hand, Lucy says she uses daily and loves.

Amanda Wood, a 2011 bride, advises couples to stay away from decor or kitchen gadgets when making their registry. “I never used the waffle iron … maybe one day,” she says. “Registering for a honeymoon seems brilliant to me.”

Kathryn Zoutewelle got married in 2020 and she says a bar cart was the best addition to her registry. “We have a place to put all of our nice new glasses. It’s so functional and cute!” Rethink a wine decanter, though. “I loved the idea of it but never use it,” Kathryn says. “And it takes up so much space! But I’m holding out hope that I’ll use it for a fancy dinner party at some point in my future.”

Kelsey Erin Stirzel tells us about the kitchen tools she put on her registry. A cast iron skillet gets the most use. Her sushi-making kit? Not so much.

For 2021 bride Emily Hull Cassidy, a LeCreuset Dutch Oven is the most used item from her registry. Her least used gift is fine china.

2021 bride Alexia Hutchison says silverware was her most used item. Her least used gift? “Everything that was not on the registry,” says Alexia.

Meaghan Dowdy Rafiee says dinnerware and silverware are the most used wedding gifts, while an electric griddle is her least used gift. “It’s still in the box,” she admits.

You Might Also Like
Raleigh nc wedding caterer

What’s on the Menu?

We’ve got the scoop on the top North Carolina wedding caterers and what makes them stand out! If you want your wedding day cuisine to be uniquely delicious, keep reading!

Read More »