A Wedding Planner’s Tips for Reducing Stress and Prioritizing Your Mental Health During Your Engagement
Wedding planning brings excitement, lots of emotions and let’s face it – stress. Planning a large event including all your loved ones can quickly become overwhelming. In this blog, Something Fabulous Weddings & Events’ co-owner and lead planner Ashley McElroy shares her best advice on how to bring your dream wedding to life while avoiding unnecessary anxiety or decision fatigue while navigating family expectations and prioritizing your relationship along the way.
About Something Fabulous Weddings & Events
This Triangle-based collaborative group of more than 10 planners and event assistants work together to bring one-of-a-kind celebrations to life. Co-founders Trent Crumpler and Ashley McElroy have been best friends since high school, and the duo maintains a fun, lighthearted approach to wedding planning, focusing on celebrating love and connection. Trent is a social butterfly who loves to work closely with couples to bring their wildest wedding dreams to life, while Ashley’s detail-oriented nature drives her to excel in event logistics. Something Fabulous strives to orchestrate events that reach outside the wedding norm, whether that be celebrations that feel exceptionally personal and authentic to the couple, or via incorporating unique details and modern design.
Get Ahead of Wedding Planning Stress
Q: Is it normal for planning a wedding to be stressful?
A: Absolutely, yes! This is the first time in most couple’s lives when they’re planning a large-scale event that involves tons of emotions, decisions, budgets and outside opinions. Overall, the majority of planning should be fun and exciting, however, there will certainly be moments of stress or overwhelm, which is totally normal when planning large life events.
Q: How can newly engaged couples prepare to manage potential stressors or anxiety that might come up while planning their wedding?
A: The best thing a newly engaged couple can do to get ahead of stress and anxiety would be to hire an experienced wedding planner that they feel confident and comfortable with before doing anything else. This will help [the couple begin] the planning process with realistic expectations regarding budget, vendor selections, guest count and more. Essentially, everything that could induce stressful planning can be managed and mitigated with your planner. We also always encourage couples to focus first on their top priorities as a couple and not get too caught up in trying to please everyone else. If we stay true to the goal of crafting a day that feels authentic, we naturally eliminate a lot of stress and anxiety.
Q: Which situations in the planning process do couples typically find the most difficult? What is the best way to get ahead of them?
A: [Typically,] the situations that couples find the most difficult are tied to budgeting. Overall, wedding budgets are consistently underestimated and costs add up so quickly. The best thing to do to avoid stress around your budget is to have realistic conversations and expectations with your partner, families and planner. By doing that, we can help discover your priorities and what matters most to you on wedding day.
Overcoming Stress During Wedding Planning
Q: If a couple comes to you overwhelmed during the planning process, what is your approach to help them cope?
A: Our first priority is to help them slow down and to give support. We start by identifying what specifically is causing the stress, whether that is budget concerns, family dynamics, decision fatigue or simply feeling behind in the process. From there, we can help break everything down into smaller, manageable steps. Having a sounding board in your planner team usually gives immediate stress relief and allows for a clear plan to evolve. Leaning into your planner’s (and vendor team’s) expertise really allows for a couple’s experience to be more seamless and less stressful. This is also a good time to remind our couples to remove the pressure from themselves and to enjoy the experience of being engaged!
Q: Weddings often bring together extended family, which can bring up all sorts of emotions. How can couples manage the expectations of family members? How can to-be-weds prioritize their own mental health if they have complicated family relationships?
A: The absolute best advice I can give on this topic is to stay true and authentic to what the couple wants for their wedding day! It is normal to feel pressure to balance everyone’s expectations, especially if family members are contributing financially. However, most couples can usually manage hard conversations or differences of opinion with clear communication, honesty and kindness. Overall, most family members just want what they think is best for the couple. For those navigating more complicated family relationships, protecting their mental health is essential. That may look like taking breaks from wedding conversations, leaning on supportive friends or limiting planning conversations to specific people.
Q: If wedding planning is taking a negative toll on engaged couples or even their relationship, what are some strategies to mitigate that?
A: It is okay to take a break, regroup and come back to planning after some intentional wedding-free time! Enjoy being engaged, go on date nights and communicate with your partner about planning stressors. In the past, we’ve had couples that have a “wedding date night” each week where they go somewhere fun together and make any pending planning decisions from the past week. It eliminates needing to chat about decisions every day. This is another point where leaning on your vendor team is essential. They can provide guidance and support to relieve some decision pressure!
Expert Advice on Navigating Wedding Stress
Q: Are there any negative or stressful myths about wedding planning that you would like to debunk?
A: The biggest myth about wedding planning is that it has to be constantly stressful and overwhelming. While some stress is normal and expected, planning your wedding should not be a miserable experience. This should be an exciting time for couples! Another myth that we see often is that couples believe that they have to do everything themselves. Having professionals help along the way, including planners, DJs, photographers, etc., helps reduce stress and avoid that feeling of overwhelm when you’re trying to do everything yourself. Lean into your professional team!
Q: Any other advice for our readers when it comes to reducing stress and prioritizing their mental health while planning their wedding that you’d like to share?
A: One of the most important things couples can remember during wedding planning is to slow down and truly allow themselves to enjoy the process with their partner. Wedding planning should not constantly feel stressful or anxiety-fueled. At the end of the day, guests are far more likely to remember how the wedding made them feel and the experience they shared with the couple rather than tiny details that caused stress.
Stress while planning your wedding is completely normal, but it shouldn’t overshadow the joy of your big day. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or are unsure how to take the next step, we always recommend talking with an experienced wedding planning professional – browse North Carolina-based planners through Heart of NC Weddings‘ vendor directory to find your perfect fit.
